[Horoscopes] Christina Culver

Virgo
I would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world. You, all of you here and everywhere, gave me this award tonight. And I accept it from you and only you. I love all of you. Now please forgive me, good night.

Leo
They were thoughtless, selfish, spoiled children. Now they won’t wake you up when you need your rest.

Libra
She’s perfect. You’re perfect. My daughter. My own daughter! I’m going to make a perfect life for you. I’m going to give you all the things I never had. My beautiful little darling! You’re a lucky girl, and very expensive. You cost me a lot of favours.

Scorpio
You were very, very bad to wake Mommie up like that. Very naughty. I told you, Mommie has to be beautiful today. This afternoon, she has to see Mister Mayer. Today is so important. You are thoughtless and selfish. You must learn to think about other people. You are bad, bad spoiled children.

Sagittarius
Is this an institution of learning or a teenage brothel?

Capricorn
Nobody ever said that life was fair. I’m bigger and I’m faster. I will always beat you.

Aquarius
You were always the shop girl who fought her way to the top, made a great success. Well, you’re not a little shop girl anymore. Now, that’s the truth, to face and deal with, if you want to survive. The truth is, you’re getting old.

Pisces
Hollywood royalty! Parted friends. . . everyone already knows! Box office poison! Box office poison! Class! You’re. . . class. . . you’re. . . class. . . box office poison! Eighteen years in the business and we parted friends! Creative differences!

Aries
Don’t fuck with me fellas. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo.

Taurus
I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the dirt.

Gemini
How many drinks is that? When you were a kid that made you look sexy. Now it just makes you look drunk. I should’ve known you’d know where to find the boys and the booze.

Cancer
Oh yes, it was thrilling. I’m so grateful to you all. . . my Won-derful fans, who made me a star. Oh yes. It was thrilling. I’m so grateful to you all. My Won-derful fans, who made me a star. . . Mommie?

Christina is your Darling www.christinaculver.com.