Issue#57 [Of The Month] True Blood, Skins, Jeff Koons, Ghetto Lattes and Bionic Commando

[1] Twitter
We are going to keep hammering this home in the magazine until we have more friends than this bloody hot dog stand in Vancouver called Japadog. Okay, in defense of the hot dog stand, they make a mean dog, but c’mon, what they can possibly have to let you know about? Our Twitter account let’s you know about timely ION articles, upcoming ION events and hella great contests. At press time we have 503 followers, a freaking hotdog stand has 1235. We’re not looking for Ashton Kutcher-type numbers, just more than the hot dog stand. www.twitter.com/ionmagazine

[2] Game-Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando was one of the greatest Nintendo Entertainment Systems games ever made for two reasons. One: you had a bionic arm that you could use to swing off things like Tarzan. Two: at the end of the game you got to fire a bazooka at Hitler and make his face explode. That’s pretty tough to top so it’s no wonder it’s taken over 20 years for a new one. In this one, terrorists have built an earthquake machine and leveled Ascension City. The only way to save the day is to send the Bionic Commando in behind the lines. No 8-bit graphics this time. Instead you’re thrust into a massive 3D environment of buildings and canyons that you must traverse by swinging and scaling. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that you will get to kill Hitler again. Bin Laden perhaps?

[3] Tough Economic Times
Your work just went out of business and you’re now unemployed. It’s time to start exploiting loopholes in other businesses and drag them down into the abyss with you. We’re going to let you in on the secret that cafes don’t want you to know! As it gets warmer nothing hits the spot better than an iced latte. But did you know you can purchase an iced americano for substantially less? Order one of these without water. After purchasing, smugly trot on over to the sugar stand and fill that bad boy up with free milk. What you hold in your hands is called a ghetto latte and you just saved yourself a dollar. You’re welcome!

[4] DVD—Skins Season 2
Bristol, the sleepy British port town that gave us Trip Hop and Banksy, is where this fun and edgy teen drama takes place. Season One ended in a complete clusterfuck, which included one of the kids suffering brain damage after being hit by a bus. This season sees the cast deal with stalkers, homosexuality, death, dysfunction, drugs, drama, booze, oh, and just a little bit of sex. One thing is certain, the kids in Skins have a lot more sex than we ever did in high school. Aside from Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) being a cast member, this season also features appearances by Crystal Castles and Born Ruffians… which is possibly cooler than when Cibo Matto appeared on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

[5] DVD—True Blood Season 1
What the hell is up with vampires these days? They’re everywhere. Ironically, that is also the premise of True Blood, an HBO show from Alan Ball (the guy who created Six Feet Under and wrote American Beauty). The show is set in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana which is situated in a fictional world where vampires are real and trying to become productive members of society. Instead of knocking out humans, they’re now knocking back a synthetic human blood beverage, called Tru Blood, developed by the Japanese and available at better convenience stores and bars. However, Joe Sixpack is still skeptical that vamps have stopped their murdering ways. This doesn’t stop Sookie (Anna Paquin), a smalltown waitress who can read people’s thoughts, from being the first girl in her town to have an open relationship with a vampire named Bill. It’s hilarious, smart, well-made and actually tackles some serious issues like racism and homophobia. Basically it is everything that Twilight is not.

[6] Pet—Salem
We are suckers for sad cat news. In Salem’s owner Janice’s own words, “Just minutes after I sent you the pic of Salem, I received a call that he had been hit by a car and was dead. The girl who called was super nice to have stood by him until I had arrived. I finally got around to sending you the pic… and well, he is now on my balcony stiff as a board. I cried all day… he was a funny cat. Always making me laugh. Of my five cats, Salem was my favourite.” Everyone at the magazine is sorry for your loss. Salem, you will be missed! To have your pet featured in the magazine, send pictures to pet@ionmagazine.ca

[7] Book—Jeff Koons: The Post-Pop Superstar
We’ll just come right out and say it: Jeff Koons is one of the most awesome people on the planet. It’s often said that the best thing about his large-scale reproductions of everyday objects is that they actually exist. This much is true. Rather than merely blowing up a big balloon of a dog, sticking it in a gallery and calling it a day, he’ll spend years overseeing the production of a massive steel dog that has been intricately painted to look like it is a balloon. Or how about the time he released a series of sculptures of himself having explicit sex with his wife? The most awesome part is he doesn’t physically make his art—he has a whole factory filled with art-school grads doing it for him. He’s more of a brand managing publicity magnet than an artisan. That’s how the art world works in the 21st century. This book from Taschen has put together the most complete collection of Jeff Koons’ work ever assembled. Nearly 600 pages that has the balloon dogs, the Nike ads, the Incredible Hulks and yeah, those sculptures of him having anal sex with his (now) ex-wife. Keep your eyes peeled for his upcoming sculpture for The Tate Modern in Britain: a full scale locomotive that will be dangling from a crane.

Leaf through the whole book here.

[8] Book – Supply and Demand 20th Anniversary Edition
Has any artist in the history of time had a bigger year than Shepard Fairey did in 2008? We think not! Seriously, this guy was everywhere. How he plans on ever topping his Barack Obama Hope poster is beyond us. With all that went on for him in 2008, it only seems fitting that the reissue of his book Supply and Demand includes all of his exploits from 2008 (and it comes with a free print!). It also commemorates Shepard Fairey’s 20-year career as a vandal and his first ever museum show at The Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston. Fittingly, Shepard was arrested on the way to the opening.