Editor’s Letter

It’s a beautiful summer day and everything is going great. It’s warm and sunny out and I spend the whole day drinking. At night I go see a band with some friends. After the show, we have a nightcap, then call it an evening. We’re just about to say our goodbyes when my friend says, “Sorry bro, you’ve just been ICED,” and presents me with a one-litre bottle of lukewarm Smirnoff Ice.

Naturally, I do what any sane person would do when this happens: drop to one knee and down the whole thing. It takes me about two-three minutes. Keep in mind that’s like chugging three regular bottles of Smirnoff. I’m cool for ten minutes, then my saliva starts to taste funny. Uh oh. I run to the bathroom, projectile vomit all over the place and feel mild remorse for whoever needs to use the facilities after me.

Welcome to Bros Icing Bros, my fun summer game. The rules are simple. If a bro presents you with a Smirnoff Ice, you must drop to one knee and chug it. However, if you have an Ice within arm’s reach you can present one back to your bro. This is known as an Ice Block. If this happens, the person who initiated the conflict must drop to one knee and chug both Ices. If a bro refuses to accept an Ice, they are no longer allowed to Ice people and are essentially excommunicated. That’s not as harsh as it sounds… this game will probably be played out by the time this magazine gets printed. Though it is hilarious to imagine Bros Icing Bros carrying on for 30 years and never getting boring.

I wish I could claim that I invented this, but I didn’t. It wasn’t even invented by people from Smirnoff. Frat boys from the South came up with it. I laughed at these people in university, but they really do know how to have a good time and I’m starting to wish I rushed when I had the chance (I might invest in some Hawaiian shirts and ska CDs and see if I missed anything there).

This game escalated pretty quickly in my circle of friends. While Icing is undeniably awesome, there are a few drawbacks. 1) I need to carry a Smirnoff Ice with me at all times. 2) Icing is all me and my friends want to talk about. 3) I no longer trust these friends. 4) I’m drinking way too much as every time I go to the liquor store to buy more Smirnoff, I’m embarrassed and feel to the need to buy a six-pack as well so the clerk thinks the coolers are for a girlfriend.

Speaking of which. “But Michael,” you ask, “I am a female. Am I allowed to partake in this totally amazing game with you?” The answer to this common question is no, of course not, don’t be ridiculous. Women get to have babies and men get to have Bros Icing Bros and that’s the way it is.

While some people are running around worrying about oil spills, volcanoes, sinkholes, the Greek economy and terrorist attacks, musicians are getting Iced on stage, people are getting Iced at work and there are even photos online of some guy getting Iced at his wedding. I will make an audacious claim that membership in these two groups of people is mutually exclusive. If you fall in the former, I have no words of wisdom for you. If you fall in the latter I will offer you this: Arm yourself! It’s going to be one long, drunk and disgusting-tasting summer.

Words: Michael Mann
Photography: Toby Marie Bannister