I recently read an article that a magazine produced a whole issue without going into their office once! Mindblowing stuff, I know. I can see why this would be a newsworthy story. Well, fuck you magazine that produced an issue without going into the office, we did this whole issue on the beach. And I wrote this whole editor’s letter without wearing socks or a shirt.
(more…)

It’s a beautiful summer day and everything is going great. It’s warm and sunny out and I spend the whole day drinking. At night I go see a band with some friends. After the show, we have a nightcap, then call it an evening. We’re just about to say our goodbyes when my friend says, “Sorry bro, you’ve just been ICED,” and presents me with a one-litre bottle of lukewarm Smirnoff Ice.
(more…)

This issue marks the beginning of our eighth year of printing, so it’s time to reflect. I could regale you with seven amusing years’ worth of stories about all the blunders we’ve made. But that’s kind of painful and this page doesn’t have enough room to tell them all. So let’s talk about our last issue instead. If you missed it, on our last cover we had She & Him, who are Zooey Deschanel and some guy. Normally, Zooey Deschanel the actress would never appear in this magazine. Film publicists are a pain in the ass. They’re extremely protective of their property and will string you along for months.
(more…)

I know some of our most loyal readers work in retail. Seriously, they’re the people who can come up to me, recite the entire contents of past issues and let me know about all the typos they spotted. I always found it flattering until I started working retail and realized the main reason these people read the magazine so closely is because they are bored.
(more…)

Holy shit! Winter 2010 is here. We’ve talked about it, voted about it and fought about it, but the Olympics are finally coming to town. I’m not a big fan of talking about “what’s in the issue” with the editor’s letter. Pretty much all other magazines do that and it’s like, “Thanks for reiterating what’s in your table of contents.” But this issue requires it. Pretty much all of the artists, bands and fashion in this issue are from Vancouver. Yes, we are hopping on the Olympics bandwagon.
(more…)

We’ve come to the end of the year. H1N1 hasn’t wiped us all out. North Korea didn’t hit us with nukes. The polar caps didn’t melt. And the economic crash didn’t leave us all unemployed. I predicted at the beginning of the year that come December we’d all be forced to join roving hordes of cannibals to survive—that the world would become a lifeless land of ash where you either eat someone or get eaten. But it didn’t happen. I will call that a good year.
But looking back, it was actually a great year for us. We added a whole crew of new staff, we did a complete redesign, we increased our page count, we got a new website and we started a freakin’ clothing line.
(more…)

Last year’s Halloween editor’s letter about the time I waterboarded a friend of mine for fun upset a few people. It was a joke, okay. No one at this magazine has ever drowned anyone and me and my friends don’t physically torture each other for fun. Emotionally? Well that’s a different story. So this year I’m going to tone things down a little and tell you the very true story about how I like to eat human flesh.
(more…)

I’m trying to get fatter. I’m not emaciated or anorexic or anything; I’m actually pretty normal sized. I just want to get fat so I can have a distinguished gut. To accomplish this I’ve started exclusively drinking Bakon, the bacon-infused vodka, and invented a new meal between brunch and lunch. I’ve also stopped lying about how much I exercise. I never exercised at all, but all the lying I was doing required a lot of effort, which burned precious calories. While getting fatter isn’t easy, I’m enjoying doing it. I’ve just got one problem: my goddamn skinny genes… err jeans.
(more…)

Summer is in full force. This means nothing but reruns on TV and soulless films that will make you stupider by merely thinking about them. This also means “A hotdog from 7-11 and a tallboy of Budweiser” is an acceptable answer to the question “What did you have for breakfast?” After you load up that delicious dog at the topping bar, you may notice a sinister presence at the counter of your favourite convenience store: shots! Not the delightful kind your friends try to force on you at bars which cause you to pick a fight with a bouncer or flash your tits to the man with a video camera for a free hat, rather, highly concentrated doses of energy drink.
(more…)

I’ve got some pretty serious news I need to relay. Consider yourself lucky that you get to read it here first before the major news networks inevitably run with it. This is going to be my last issue with ION and I’m leaving to pursue my true passion: DJing.
(more…)

We have now been printing for six years. Man, are we old. Up until recently we were still talking about how long the magazine had been around for in months. It was only last year we stopped having week-a-versaries.
We’ve come a long way from a magazine that you wouldn’t take home even after 12 beers. True story, I used to interview trance and techno DJs for those early issues. Trance DJs like Tiesto for fuck’s sake. Don’t mistake me writing about trance DJs as something that people just did six years ago. It was as lame back then as it is now. I wasn’t editor at the time so I’d like to say, “It’s not my fault I was just following orders.” But we all know who used that as a defense.
(more…)

Dear Diary,
This month we launched a new website and I inadvertently got addicted to Twitter. It started off innocently enough. A few updates that were either jokes or various attempts to internet market to our lovely readers. Then I stopped using phone, email and verbal communication with people I’m in the same room as in favour of @ messages. I realized I had a problem the day I rolled out of bed and the first site I checked was Twitter and not my Friendster profile.
(more…)

First issue of the most exciting year for ION yet! We have some awesome new staff. We have an awesome new look. We have an awesome new office. We have some awesome new mobile technology that’ll enhance your experience with the magazine. And now we have an awesome new website as well. Guess how this year is going to be for us?
(more…)