BLACKBOARDS IN PORN

Some bored/asexual people in cyberspace decided to evaluate the mathematics on the ever-present blackboards we all ignore while watching the classic “professor” scenario throughout the history of pornography. Turns out that certain pornographers go the extra mile and work out high level calculus to bring authenticity to a scene. We can’t wait for the spin-off Is There Actually Sausage On That Pizza?

BEN SHERMAN STORE OPENING

On November 4th Ben Sherman officially opened its first Canadian flagship store at 734 Queen Street West in Toronto. The 2 600 square foot store carries the full lifestyle collection from Ben Sherman including shoes, boots, bags, belts, hats and more. The centerpiece of the new Toronto store is “The Shirt Bar” – a counter dedicated to shirting, and designed to make the task of finding the perfect shirt both easy and enjoyable.

STARSHIP TROOPERS: INVASION

Paul Verhoeven was accused of making a fascist movie when Robocop took the world over, so he thought “Okay, you want a fascist movie? I’ll give you a fascist movie!” and in 1997 we were treated with the tongue-in-cheek thriller Starship Troopers. Fourteen years and two tripe-churning sequels later, word of a new, fully animated CGI sequel is in production. There’s a production blog on Tumblr for the fourth installment, and word is Casper Van Dien will be voicing Johnny Rico. Maybe this time they’ll teach us how to be apes that live forever.

CHER TO GET HER OWN COMIC BOOK

Well, this was inevitable. Apparently Cher’s fans have devoured so many of her biographies that the only option left was to immortalize her life story in the comic medium. Official tagline: “Female Force: Cher turns back time and tells how this platinum selling signer became an award winning actress and a performer for the ages.” Now that she’s in cartoon form, and Beavis and Butthead are back on the air, they can finally have that virtual reality three-way.

FROGBOX

Moving is a giant pain in the keester. You’ve got to beg local businesses to let you rummage through their cardboard box collection, only to have those exact boxes fall apart in the rain, spilling your pristine collection of comic books all over the front steps of your new apartment. Luckily, a company like Frogbox has your best interests in mind. This company is exploding all over the continent with a near flawless business plan. For cheaper than buying cardboard boxes, Frogbox shows up at your old apartment with waterproof, easy-to-carry, reusable friendly boxes, and picks them up after you’re finished with the move. Their slogan “From One Pad To Another” sums it up, although we’d also like to propose “It’s Easy Being Green.”

INTUNE STEREO EARPHONES [by fuse]

Whatever happened to being an audiophile? Well, being that more people listen to ultra-compressed, low fi (and not in a cool Sebadoh way) youtube videos than they do practice zen and the art of turntable maintenance, it should be no surprise that our collective expectations are lowering when it comes to sound quality. The ambitious people at fuse are attempting to keep our ears above the waterline by introducing their new line of earphones. The pitch is that each set are available for four different listening experiences – Pop, Jazz/Classical, Rock/Blues/Country, and Rap. They’re fantastic for experiencing your favourite style, unless you’re listening to all the genres in random order and in that case you should stop listening to/being Girl Talk.

THE LUDVICO TREATMENT EARTHLING COVER ALBUM

When Adam Veenendaal of The Ludvico Treatment was a little guy in 1997, he discovered David Bowie’s jungle album Earthling, and realized that electronic music could be more than just 2 Unlimited or C&C Music Factory. Today, making his living as a slick record producer, he decided to pay homage to the album that  changed his life by covering the entire record. “I guess it’s interesting that it was mostly recorded in the woods using unorthodox methods”, he says of the labour of love.

RADIO SOULWAX VIMEO CHANNEL

To coincide with their Radio Soulwax App, the hardest working musicians on the planet have recently created a Vimeo channel to overwhelm you. The videos are all hour long adventures through sight, sound and their record collections. The stand out around the ION office is “Librarian Girl” a journey through both the Soulwax collection of library records and the mind of a foxy librarian working overtime.

AKAI ANALOG CUSTOM SHOP GUITAR PEDALS

We know that you like to use Boss pedals because even if you’re stuck in Vernon, BC on tour you’ll be able to replace them at any music store. Consider the new line of Akai Analaog Custom pedals, designed to deliver the sound quality of boutique guitar pedals. Analog Delay, Drive3Fuzz, Flanger, it’s all there, and it’s your chance to find a sound that isn’t easily heard on a Puddle Of Mudd release. You love your MT-2 Metal Zone, but nobody finds your ironic, nineties shredder image funny anymore.

ANDVINYLY.COM

Unless you’re Chris Lambert, you’re going to die. It’s about time you decided what’s to be done with your earthly remains. Having your ashes spread along the seawall where you had your first kiss is boring. Now with andvinyly.com you have the chance to press those ashes into a vinyl recording of your choice. Make a soundtrack, record a Superchunk cover, or a creepy message that will haunt your annoying neighbour who never stopped playing “I’m Blue” at full volume on Sunday mornings. “Andvinyly.com! Live on from beyond the groove!”

CELEBSWITHNOEYEBROWS.COM

This is exactly what it sounds like. It’s not deep. It’s not particularly designed well. It’s just photos of celebrities with their eyebrows removed. Is it worth bookmarking? Probably not. Are you going to go through all of them and forward your favourites to your best buddy? Wait, are you surprised? I can’t tell.

EVERYDAY SUNSHINE: THE STORY OF FISHBONE

There’s no other band that deserves fame more than Fishbone. They were the first in a series of bands out of California in the eighties to develop the ska/funk/metal sound, and they did it best. If you’ve ever seen Fishbone live you know two things: they still create a seething mass better than anybody, and Angelo Moore thinks the fame gods ripped him off. This new documentary from filmmakers Lev Anderson and Chris Metzler chronicles the troubles and strains of the not famous band. Oh, and the best part is it’s narrated by Laurence Fishburne.

ODD FUTURE + ADULT SWIM

Adult Swim has picked up a show from Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All? Actually, ignore that question mark because that makes perfect sense. I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner exactly what OFWGKTA are: 20 year olds who watched way too much Adult Swim when they were teenagers. This show is just OFWGKTA’s next step in trying to actually become the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Loiter is being produced by the men responsible for Jackass; Johnny Knoxville and Spike Jonze and will feature music, pranks, sketches and man-on-the-street segments. It would be a lot cooler if it were a cartoon.

-Kellen Powell

SUPER 8

There are a handful of movies that make me instantly wish I grew up in a different time. Dazed and Confused will, without fail, always make me wish I were entering senior year in 1976. Almost Famous makes me feel that I’d be able to get by being an uncool 15-year old in 1973. This summer, after seeing Super 8, after having my usual pangs of desire to have grown up in the 70s, this movie made me wish that I had seen this movie as a 10-year old. This Spielberg-produced Spielberg clone of a movie would have drawn me in so hard when I was a youngster that I can feel my 10-year old self telling current me that it’s totally okay to love this movie.

-Ian Urbanski

THE WEEZER CRUISE – JANUARY 19-23

Weezer isn’t cool anymore. They make snuggies, cover Toni Braxton, feature their music in Disney movies, and Matt Sharp hasn’t been in the band in over a decade. Getting on a boat with the current lineup might sound like hell/jail, but with guests including Yuck, Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, Wavves, Free Energy and features like a Pat Wilson shuffleboard tournament and Scott Shriner renewing couple’s wedding vows, you may want to think about setting sail with the current version of Weezer because “The sea is foamin’ like a bottle of beer.”

WRECKED

I tend to prefer protagonists that are able to stand up and walk around and do things in movies. I still haven’t seen My Left Foot, regardless of how good I know its supposed to be, because I just don’t see how a movie about a person with limited movement can be interesting. They can’t actually do anything, and the things they can do take soooooo long. It’s the same reason I won’t see that movie where Ryan Reynolds is trapped in the box. That said, Adrien Brody’s character in this movie spends most his time injured and trapped in a car after a wreck in the middle of the woods. I didn’t think I would enjoy it – because of the aforementioned predilection toward walking and moving in movies – but nonetheless found it intellectually and emotionally satisfying, well paced and well acted. Plus it has a mountain lion.

-Kellen Powell

DENIM GALLERY CAFÉ

This unique concept café/retail location is the brainchild of Michel Menard. He uses his showroom as a retail location where clients can shop for brands such as Timex, Levis, Ray Ban, Converse, Landyachtz Longboards and Vancouver designed Herschel Bags, while drinking Lavazza Coffee and noshing on grilled cheese sandwiches. Food and fashion-what could be better? 906 Main Street, Vancouver.

SURF BEAT: ROCK ‘N’ ROLL’S FORGOTTEN REVOLUTION BY KENT CROWLEY

They say if a man lives long enough he’ll acquire two things: prostate cancer and a taste for country and western music. Imagine how much cooler it would be if instead it were a discerning taste for cheese and surf music respectively? In Surf Beat a new book by Kent Crowley, you’ll be quickly on your way to getting pitted with Murphy The Surfie and Gidget. Be warned though, Fender Jaguars may look cool but they’re reliability will drive you up the wall.

ADULT SWIM SINGLES PROGRAM

Adult Swim is a rare dragon indeed. Because HBO plays Super Troopers every single day, Adult Swim is the only reason left to pay for cable in America. They’ve got low budget, hilarious shows like Eagleheart and Children’s Hospital and if you’re up real late, you can catch never-not-funny reruns of BBC 2’s Look Around You. Currently, they’re giving fans never-before-released tracks every week from artists like The Tallest Man on Earth and The Rapture. Adult Swim, you had us at Space Ghost Coast to Coast and everything since has been gravy.

GENERATIONALS FREE DOWNLOAD

As our arts and culture editor likes to remind us “Music has no value”. This may explain why ION favourites, Generationals, have blessed you with a free download of their EP Medium Rarities. With an alternate take, a new track and two remixes, you’re getting more value than if you bet on the Bruins to win the cup.  [parkthevan.com/mediumrarities/]

PRINCE: CHAOS, DISORDER, AND REVOLUTION BY JASON DRAPER

From the purple people eating minds of Backbeat Books, we’ve got a new biography about the man currently known as Prince. From his curious, gyrating, guitar playing at James Brown’s birthday party (arriving on a man’s shoulders) to kicking Kim Kardashian off his stage, Prince is the best pop music weirdo America has ever had, and for a small fee you can get deep into the life story of His Royal Badness. The book even includes photos of 1980 Prince, back when he had that sick moustache, long hair, and never wore a shirt.

WHOOPSIE DOODLE

Sometimes when your magazine’s production weekend takes place in a filthy, Thunder Bay strip club, mistakes are made. It’s not completely our fault. We’re going to blame the shots of that cherry flavoured Jim Beam and the deafening sound of Chris Lake songs. Either way, it should be noted that in the Parallel Dance Ensemble feature in issue 72, answers 6-10 and the last one are credited to the wrong interviewee. When you read those lines you can cross your eyes, count backwards and it should read just fine.

THE WA

The Wa is a biannual arts and culture magazine run out of Toronto. This Halloween it’s celebrating its fifth birthday. The latest issue is daredevil themed and features interviews with Mick Foley, a stuntman, a counterterrorist/customs officer and more. Check out all the back issues at [thewamagazine.com]

STEPHEN COLBERT WITH THE BLACK BELLES

Nashville, Tennessee is currently the main vein of songs in America. In many years you’ll see documentaries about the explosion that took place around this time. A fun footnote to the story will be the 7” single put out by Jack White’s Thirdman Records “Charlene II (I’m Over You)”, a collaboration between The Black Belles and American voice, Stephen Colbert. Get it online or if you can, head down south and hit the label’s store. Rumour is it’s run by the Soledad Brothers’ drummer.

CHARLIE SHEEN TO HOST SATURDAY NIGHT AT GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS

See title. That’s good enough.

BALCONIES
You want a power trio? You got it. The Balconies are a tighter three-way than the Miami Heat, which may have something to do with the fact that frontwoman, Jacquie, is siblings with one member, and the girlfriend of the other. The Balconies have recently finished their recording session with Jon Drew (Tokyo Police Club, Fucked Up) for their full length, but in the meantime they’ve tossed us a bone in the form of the Kill Count 7”. Classic telecaster sounds, fantastic backup singing, and a flare for reverb, Kill Count will get The Balconies’ fans through the summer without having to throw themselves off their… verandas.

DIAMONDS
Following up with his bassline-driven remix of Matty C’s “Action” (a song that features a Poison sample!), Kutcorners smoothes out our wrinkles with a little Nu Shooz sounding tribute on his latest jam, “Diamond”. Featuring the earnest vocals of Curtis Santiago, “Diamond” is perfect for blasting at full volume while driving your Oldsmobile to a beach blanket break dance party. Available digitally on DJ Eleven’s 11 Inch label.

DJ DIVA
Holland is like the reverse of Argentina; Dutch men are tall, strapping, hung dudes, and the ladies? Well, they aren’t quite the equivalent. To stop them from all turning gay, Dutch women are working in a sexual coalmine to get the Johanneses to notice them. Did you know that you can get served in Holland by a naked woman? You even get to write your order on her body somewhere. Now finally, we’ve got DJ Diva, the world’s first topless DJ! When the shitty trance tune finally hits that peak your ecstacy soaked guts have been waiting for… SPLASH! Out come those lip smackin’ yabbos. Well, that was worth the hundred dollar ticket. Let’s go hit a gabba club. [Djdiva.nl]

GOBARBRA.COM
Probably the club song of the year, “Barbra Streisand” has been drilled deep into your head no doubt by now. It’s currently in its car commercial, hated-by-Howard-Stern, hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase. If you want one last silly gasp, head over to GoBarbra.com and plug in your own favourite (preferably four syllable) name and feel like Armand Van Helden for about ten seconds. Tip: the best one to use is “Jeffrey Dahmer”.

JIMMIE’S STILL JIMMIE/THAT’S NOT JOEL 7”
Canada’s sometimes underappreciated heartthrob, Joel Plaskett shakes hands with Shotgun Jimmie on this whimsical new 7”. On one side, you’ve got Joel singing a song about Jimmie, and reflexively Jimmie does the same for Joel on the flip. Two maritime boys singing songs about each other being buddies; more maritime than that wrestling match between Rick White and six puffins drunk on screech.

NEWVILLAGER
Ben Bromley and Ross Simonini’s New York City-based music and art collective, NewVillager, not only have one of the fanciest tunes going right now with “Lighthouse” but will also come together this June to present Temporary Culture at the Los Angeles art gallery Human Resources. NewVillager will build a live installation, setting up a loop of nine rooms throughout the gallery, where band members will build shelters and live for nine days from June 13th to June 22nd. Over the course of nine days, the band will build for three nights and stage different hour and a half performances for the following six nights, including on-stage musical performances in the interest of creating a “temporary culture” over the duration of the exhibition. “NewVillager are setting up a new village? Then it’s not just a clever name.”

POP PHONE
Tired of keeping up with the Bimbo Joneses and their “check out my flat black $1800 headphones made by Ducati” attitudes? With the POP Phone by Native Union, you can look like a secretary while playing “Secretary Song” by The Go! Team. If that’s not your bag you can be all “Hello? Batman? It’s DJ Commissioner Gordon Lightfoot. We need you to send us a 7″ of Pigbag’s ‘Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag’. The party needs you!” Plus, with a retail price of $29.99, it won’t rip your heart out if you lose it drunk at the after party.

ION Exclusive Mix Series
ION has begun a series of exclusive mixes and we couldn’t be luckier with the first installment. Rising producer and DJ Stopmakingme, has blended together a collection of songs by the legendary Black Devil Disco Club. Says Black Devil, “I’ve played live several times in London, and I believe I did play at Fabric for a ‘Kill ‘Em All’ party which he (Stopmakingme) organized. Furthermore his remixes are great so I asked him to do a remix of a track from my brand new album.” Featuring tracks by Austra and Gesaffelstein, it’s a mix that perfectly captures club music of the moment. Find it at [ionmagazine.ca]

GIRLS MAKING GUN SOUNDS
For any of you guys who grew up with a brother, you know that brothers do terrible shit to each other; whether it’s getting kicked down the stairs, or having your pants pulled down at your birthday party. We also know that we did worse things to our sisters. We ignored them. Girls Making Gun Sounds reminds us that we were correct to exclude the weaker siblings. Why would I make a blanket fort with somebody who thinks an HK MP7 sounds like a kitten sneezing up a tribble?

[girlsmakinggunsounds.com]

MIKE DETECTIVE
Mike Detective, unlicensed and uninsured private eye, tries to save 14-year old twin sisters Tawny and Stephanie Client from his nemesis Kelsey Grammer, in a noir serial format. If that sounds like something you might be interested in, it’s because you probably share a sense of humour with writer Scott Aukerman (Comedy Death-Ray, Mr. Show), and lead performer Rob Huebel (Human Giant, Children’s Hospital). Occasional guests so far have included Jon Hamm, Rob Corddry and Zach Galifianakis. New episodes come out on Tuesdays and clock in well under 10 minutes, making it easy to catch up on the joke-dense adventure. To find it, just search ‘Mike Detective’ in iTunes. —Ian Urbanski

NORM MACDONALD on Twitter
Norm MacDonald was always too smart and self-aware to succeed on network television. After he got the boot from SNL and his solo sitcom was self-sabotaged by ABC execs, it looked like he’d get fat off the celebrity game show circuit and never deliver another dead pan cold opening again. But after establishing himself as a Twitter virtuoso by upstaging the Oscars with tweets like “oh finally. an old british guy”, Norm is back at doing what he does best: enraging idiots and making the rest of us snicker.

[@normmacdonald]

SOMEWHERE – ON DVD
Let’s talk about Sophia Coppola. Say whatever you want about the woman, there is one thing she absolutely nails; spoiled rich people. Lost in Translation was good, Marie Antoinette was, uhm, experimental… but they were both essentially about the existential pain of the rich and famous. Somewhere has solidified that topic as being her wheel-house. The film is about a fading action star trying to reconnect with his daughter. It’s not exactly ground-breaking for Coppola, but it’s a world that she knows well and she presents it with a cinematic subtlety that’s become her trademark. —Kellen Powell

STUSSY x DICKIES
Stussy has teamed up with the iconic American workwear label Dickies to produce a collaborative capsule collection for Spring/Summer 2011. Two of Dickies’ classic items, the 574 workpant and workshirt, have been subtly tweaked by Stussy with new fabrication and the addition of graphic elements, bringing a new vibe to the traditional workwear. Available at all Stussy stores in April.

TRON: LEGACY
The problem with putting base-jumping, light-cycles, spirituality, genocide, multiple Jeff Bridges, Daft Punk, vague theories about A.I., disc fighting, alternate realities, babes, lasers, father issues and business ethics all into a 3D lightshow, is that those things don’t all exactly go together. I had a hard time understanding what exactly I was supposed to care about when I watched TRON: Legacy, but you should probably watch it anyway, just so you believe me that those things are all in the same Disney 3D movie. —Kellen Powell

YOHJI YAMAMOTO
Recognized internationally for his radical innovations and craftsmanship, Yohji Yamamoto is a visionary. A man who is not generally interested in fashion, but more interested in how to cut clothing, we learn, is attracted to his dark side of life and finds harmony to be boring and conflict to be an exciting challenge. This is all captured as director, Theo Stanley follows Yamamoto and his team around New York City, Paris and Tokyo, creating an intimate documentary showing the designer going from the early to the final stages of putting together Y-3’s Spring/Summer 2010 collection.

The film turns an intimate eye on Yamamoto during fittings, model castings, guitar-playing, philosophical musings, and interactions with his staff and the global team bringing his ideas to life. 

YOHJI YAMAMOTO: THIS IS MY DREAM will be presented at small screenings around the world this Spring and the DVD will be available at all Y-3 stores and online at www.Y-3.com

View the trailer at www.thisismydreamthefilm.com

José Parlá
If you are in Toronto, check out José Parlá’s two massive murals commissioned by Concord CityPlace. Inspired by anonymous art found in the streets, Parlá layers plaster, paint, posters and calligraphy elements to create his pieces. The larger commissioned piece, The Names That Live And Sometimes Fade While Time Flies is a homage to the hundreds of artist that Parlá has met over the years. The smaller painting titled “The Bridge” shows an arch of writing that resembles a bridge. Parlá is also the 8th artist to be featured on Incase products as part of a curated project in collaboration with Arkitip. [www.goincase.com]

The Walking Dead Season 1 on DVD and Blu-Ray
If you didn’t hear about this show, you’ve either been living under a rock or are totally uninterested in both television and zombies. The Walking Dead explores familiar territory for sci-fi horror fans; a group of survivors struggling in a zombie infested post-apocalyptic wasteland. However, this is the first time we’ve been given the opportunity to see how this scenario might play out over a longer time frame. The episodic nature allows more time for character development, and how a survivor might cope day to day. The writing is a little uneven and corny in some parts, but all the people responsible were fired so it’s forgivable. — Kellen Powell

Puma x Opi x Browns Shoes
Puma has joined forces with Opi to create a nail colour called “Puma Red” which will be available exclusively at select Browns Shoes and B2 Locations starting in April. There are only 50 bottles of the nail polish at select locations and this marks the launch of the Puma ballerina flat for Browns Shoes. The limited edition Opi nail polish is your gift with purchase.

ION’s version of Storage Wars
If you have seen “Storage Wars” then you know that the show is about guys that go around to storage facility auctions and bid on the contents of a locker that has been abandoned without knowing what is inside. The catch is you have to take everything inside the locker.

We are going to do the same thing on a weekly basis starting this month with the 3 years worth of CD’s and DVD’s that we have in boxes, but instead of money we will trade you for something that you deem worthy of trading. Follow us on twitter @ionmagazine to find out when the trades will begin.

Red Bull Music Academy
If you produce songs, or DJ, or love traveling and meeting your idols, grab your pen, download the application to this year’s Red Bull Music Academy, and answer the questionnaire accordingly. If you’re selected to participate you will be whisked away to the magical country known as Japan, where along with other producers and taste makers, you’ll be treated to the most inspiring two weeks of your life. From performing in nightclub settings, to sitting in on lectures from the world’s best (past speakers include the likes of Chuck D), the Red Bull Music Academy is your dream fantasy camp… with drinking! Apply before April 4th. [www.redbull.ca/rbma]

The Great Gatsby for NES
From the clever, Gen X, minds of Pete Smith and Charlie Hoey, the internet was recently treated to a combination of what kept our little minds busy in junior high. Who doesn’t remember racing through page after page of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 classic, to get in an hour of Tecmo Super Bowl before bedtime? Finally, we can blend our love of NES with our hatred of every character in The Great Gatsby, as the player is expected to boomerang blast through levels inhabited by Flappers and Dutchmen. We can’t wait for the Tender Is The Night TurboGrafx-16 game. [www.greatgatsbygame.com]

Japanesestreets.com
The kids in Japan have always had a style all their own. They mix the craziest clothing together in ways that bend the western mind but it just seems to work. The sad part is if you ever tried to duplicate the look on yourself it would result in fits of laughter. Case in point: put on a pair of pants, layer on an oversized skirt in a clashing colour, follow this with a patterned shirt, two different coloured socks and a pair of sunglasses with one of the lenses popped out, now stand in front of a full length mirror. Want to see more amazing outfits that you will never be able to wear? [www.japanesestreets.com]

The Town & The Fighter on DVD and Blu-Ray
I love genre movies, but what I love even more are weirdly specific genres that burgeon out of existing ones. In this case we have two Oscar darling films both examining the insidious underbelly of Massachusetts (in Charlestown and Lowell respectively.) You probably know the plot of both of these movies (banks robbers and boxers) but mainly I love them because it’s fun to listen to people with Boston accents swear at each other. It’s Massploitation! They’re both great movies in their own right, and I get an extra thrill anytime anyone lets loose a ‘Fack you!’. — Kellen Powell

Our friend Peter Ricq from Humans is helping organize an art event at Ayden Gallery this Friday. Le Movember features a terrific list of artists who have all created mustache-inspired works. The proceeds from this show, as you might have guessed, will go to Prostate Cancer Canada, which is an amazing organization.

Opening is on Friday November 19 at Ayden Gallery from 7-11. Show runs until December 12. See ya there!

Facebook Event Page
[www.prostatecancer.ca]

Check out a few of the pieces in Le Movember after the jump.

peter ricq

taka sudo aka TiFdyL

dale tidy

jose rivas

For this issue we got the oddest and awesomest request from an artist ever. Prior to our photoshoot with Die Antwoord, we received an email asking, “Can you bring XL boxers of Canadian flag and maple leaves for Ninja to wear for this?” We were, of course, ecstatic and immediately dropped everything we were doing to go on a quest for him. Said Ninja of the boxers we gave him, “They’re nice. I love new boxers and underpants and socks. We never had money so for a few birthdays Yo-landi always bought me underpants and socks and I always liked them. I have nice affection with new underpants.” If you’d like to look like Ninja does on our cover, his maple leaf boxers can be purchased for $15 at almost any tourist store in Gastown, Vancouver.

If the rhythm sounds nice, you gotta do it twice. So we’re doing it again. On Saturday August 21th, you are cordially invited to spend an afternoon with us on one of the most seldom available rooftops in the city. Be prepared for a day filled with familiar faces, tempting libations, BBQ and general revelry. From 2-7pm the rooftop of Scotiabank Dance Centre will be home to an array of summer favorites from past and present.

Selectors: AJK, Zeeaa + U-Tern and All Hands In
When: Saturday August 21st. 5-10pm.
Where: Scotiabank Dance Centre. 677 Davie Street. Google Map
How much:$7
RSVP on the Facebook Event Page

Generously sponsored by the good people at:
Bear Flag Wine www.bearflagwine.com
Steam Whistle www.steamwhistle.ca

Hey you! Watch that trailer above. Doesn’t that movie look great? Do you live in Vancouver and would you like to see it before all your friends?

Head over to our Facebook Fan Page or our Twitter account. We have some passes we’re going to give away at some point in the next few days.

ION contributor David Bertrand recently moved to Montreal to open up a movie theatre with Canada’s cult cinema queen, Kier-La Janisse. Blue Sunshine is billed as a “psychotronic screening room” and the plan is to have screenings three nights a week. Thursdays will feature rare music films, Fridays will feature bizarro trash and cult films and Saturdays will be dedicated to avant-garde and art cinema. The space will also be home to the Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies. One of the first things they have lined up is master class in adapting H.P. Lovecraft for the screen taught by Stuart Gordon (The Re-Animator). Amazing! Oh, and we highly recommend you see the movie Blue Sunshine. It’s about people who do bad LSD, lose their hair and go on murderous rampages.

Blue Sunshine 3660 Boulevard St-Laurent, 3rd Floor
Blue Sunshine on Facebook
[www.blue-sunshine.com]
[www.miskatonicinstitute.com]

A O C is throwing you a summer party! Wednesday June 23rd you’ll be treated to Vancouver’s three best and diverse acts. ION staff writer Stefana Fratila performs her Coco Rosie-esque songs and at her best will stretch your heartstrings like Link Wray stretches the strings of his guitar. She’s also always good for a tickling laugh in between songs. Did you miss Thrush Hermit in the Nineties because you were too young or too into that song by Train? The (super adorable and young) Hot Moonbeams will revisit Joel Plaskett and his crew while peppering you with the lyrical panache of Steve Malkmus. Capping off the evening has ION favourites Humans who have been killing it at both high end venues and underground parties for the last year. Of course there are your A O C DJs Kellen Powell and Trevor Risk bringing you every hit song you loved from the previous outings. Join the Facebook event group and get free song downloads of new and old indie hits everyday for a week leading up to the party. Let’s all clink glasses and duck walk all night long!

When: Wednesday June 23rd
Where: The Biltmore, Vancouver
Cover: $8

Acts:
www.myspace.com/dashumans
www.myspace.com/stefanafratila
www.myspace.com/thehotmoonbeams

On our last cover we featured Diplo, who aside from being a cool guy and a talented musician, is part of the whole M.I.A/New York Times shitstorm. The article featured M.I.A eating french fries cooked in truffle oil while the writer paints her as some sort of Chardonnay-sipping fake revolutionary. Well, the whole thing has caused quite an online kerfuffle and Diplo was quoted a few times in the piece and he said some nasty things. Well it’s time to take this guy down a notch or two. During our interview and photoshoot with him we can confirm that Diplo drank fine $12/bottle wine with a straw. He also feasted on an ornate spread of Lebanese food from Nuba that consisted of falafel, tabouleh, chicken tawook and some hummus on pita bread. After the interview, Diplo was driven by our publisher in her fancy Ford family van to another restaurant to meet friends for a second, undoubtedly extravagant, meal. Diplo’s response to the controversy which we are tentatively calling Nubagate, was “Errrr waking up on a flight witha (sic) giant boner is not as cool as it sounds.”

Editors’ Note: We made most of the interview up and stuff he did say wasn’t presented in order. We didn’t think readers or Diplo would care. Sorry for not explicitly stating that in the piece. Also, the airplane boner quote was just some random tweet we pulled from Diplo’s Twitter account.
[@diplo]

From the collaborative efforts of Grace-Gallery, On Main and photographer Angela Fama comes MIRRORFACE. At this exhibit, there lies 12 seemingly simple photographs. However, like most artwork, once the story is read, then the interest and appreciation will come. Fama captures two images of the subject—one a regular studio image and one a completely natural mirror image. From Angela’s artist statement, “MIRRORFACE is the facial expression that messages to us that we are ready to take on the world.” This show will commence on Saturday May 1 at 7pm.
—Jenkin Au

[www.grace-gallery.com]
[www.paulwongprojects.com]
[www.angelafama.com]

01 is a Vancouver based bi-monthly, online magazine and daily blog. Its contributions come from creative-minded Vancouverites, as well as a handful of individuals outside the city. 01 is launching its first art exhibition this month at the 107 Shaw Gallery in Toronto. The exhibition runs from March 11-April 3 and will showcase international artists from Germany and New York along with a great crop of Canadian talent. Some of the Vancouver roster includes photographers Jennilee Marigomen and Jeff Otto O’Brien, as well as LES Gallery artist Dan Siney. Holding down the home front for Toronto are local artists Maryanne Casasanta and Niall Mc Clelland. No matter who you bring to this exhibition, you’re guaranteed to be in good company. —Alysa Lechner

[www.1zero7.com]
[www.zero1magazine.com]

In the interests of full disclosure, the reader of this review should know that it was written by the author while drunk, in a bar, from his BlackBerry, while drowning his sorrows over Canada’s loss to the US in hockey on the 21st of February. The reader of this review should also know that BioShock 2 is AWESOME. This game straight up rules. I had never played a BioShock game before ION asked me to review this one. The intro hooked me and there’s a lot of mystery that helps to keep you invested in the gameplay during the difficult parts. I don’t want to ruin it for the casual gamer that might not know, but I will say it involves an underwater city, people modifying themselves with seaslug genes to gain telekinetic powers and little girls with glowing eyes that carry around syringes bigger than they are. The controls are easy and intuitive and the game has a great system for calibrating the brightness so you can actually see what you’re supposed to in darker maps. I’m definitely a casual gamer and the difficulty of the game was at times frustrating for me. However, the art direction, story and originality never failed to hold my interest and keep me invested.

Words: Kellen Powell

Game trailer after the jump

ION loves Muk Muk. What/Who the hell is a Muk Muk? Muk Muk is a Vancouver Island marmot and according to the internet they are really good at hibernating. Muk Muk is also the most adorable of the four official Mascots. But wait, he’s not an official mascot. According to the Olympic website he’s a sidekick. Seriously? A sidekick mascot for the real mascots, this is getting confusing. Anyways, Muk Muk’s hobbies are listed as: eating, burrowing, eating, making friends and eating, which basically describes what our staff are into.
Words: Zia Hirji

Paul Wong, video pioneer, award-winning artist, curator, and event organizer since the mid-Seventies, has created five unique experiences that will take the public on extraordinary journeys through real, invented, and imagined places during the Vancouver 2010 Olympics and Paralympics. With a live webcast, a video bus tour and explorations in a floral conservatory, cemetery and classical Chinese garden, this is not a project to miss. Five five-hour events take place at 5pm on every Saturday from February 13 to March 13.

[www.5.paulwongprojects.com]

Stepping into Mr. Lee’s General Store and Haberdashery is like stepping into a captured moment in history. The Thirties-inspired gentlemen’s store, which is attached to a barber shop, gives the feeling of going back in time, when the focus was on giving men what they needed to be slick, stylish and suave. Large weathered cupboards and drawers display an eclectic range of goods like straight razors, hair creams, bags, sunglasses, cinnamon toothpicks and big glass jars of candy. Mr. Lee’s was opened in December 2009 by a group of three friends and is loading its shelves back up after nearly clearing out everything during Christmas. Although the store specializes in men’s needs, women will also find a fair share of unisex items. Mr. Lee’s is also your only source in Canada for Portland’s Stumptown coffee.

109 East Broadway, Vancouver
[mrleesgeneralstore.blogspot.com]
Words: Alana Turner