Papa Roach - None of the Above

When your rap rock outfit’s big riffs and take-no-prisoners approach leave you shitlisted from every club in Europe, how can the show possibly go on? By playing some historic ruins, I guess. Pissy suburban icons Papa Roach accomplished just that with “None of the Above”, the eighth music video culled from their 2017 album Crooked Teeth. Eight music videos, can you believe that shit? Again enlisting the help of director Bryson Roatch, the band’s long-lost Dutch uncle, as well as the fabled DanceXperience ballet troupe, “None of the Above” was filmed at Luxembourg’s gorgeous Beaufort Castle during a recent European tour. I’ve actually been to Beaufort Castle, but the one in Lebanon, so maybe this is the TGI Fridays of castles or something. Who knows – and who really cares? At any rate, “None of the Above” offers a nice enough blend of the current and classic Papa Roach formula. Get a whiff of that brew! If you’re a fan of these clowns there’s not much to complain about. For the rest of us it’s pretty forgettable, perhaps aside from a few surprisingly nuanced guitar lines from Jerry Horton. As for the video, it’s hard to take issue with “None of the Above” proudly showcasing a beautiful medieval fortress and Renaissance château, even if one can’t help but cringe just a little at Papa Roach and DanceXperience’s ridiculous dance moves. Hell, if I’d been equipped with something like “None of the Above” when I taught European history maybe my students would’ve given two fucks about the French Revolution. Instead they wanted “none of the above” where the past was concerned, although they certainly had plenty of time for binge drinking and casual sex. But that’s another story. With “None of the Above” Papa Roach make Styx’s “Castle Walls” sound like a minstrel’s tale. Grand Illusion, my ass! Let’s blow what’s left of the roof off this place!