Select[ION] | Pissing The Night Away

Pissing the Night Away. You ever had to pee so bad your back teeth are floating and your front teeth are all “Anchors Away!”? Our mostly beloved (and sometimes despised) DJs are busy drinking beers and keeping a party going, and generally don’t have a party catheter attached. Truckers use empty bottles, moviegoers use potato chip bags, infants use diapers. DJs? They use the longest tracks in their collection giving them enough time to relieve themselves. ION asked a few of our favourite selectors to share their secret, go-to track when they desperately need to siphon the python. – Trevor Risk

Global Communications – “The Way"

Like all good piss/smoke break songs, this is nice and long, but effortlessly progresses towards a climax, so it's not the whole "same 16 bar loop for 10+ minutes / where's the DJ / oh he's pissing". It's a song that needs to be played through to its end to really be appreciated. Fifteen years old and still sounds as crisp and polished as the first time I heard it! Matty C (www.whitelightmixes.com)

The Juan Maclean – “Happy House

Real DJs don't take pee breaks. Just kidding. Maybe Juan Maclean’s "Happy House." It's 12 minutes long. You could even drop the kids off at the pool if you're that type of person. The track has a slow build to it but stays interesting from start to finish. Good classic house vibes. U-Tern/Oliver (Kitsuné/Fools Gold)

Mighty Dub Katz – “Magic Carpet Ride 2007” (Claude Vonstroke Remix) Ten Minutes of groove from the gawd Claude. Yung Skeeter (Chill Bro, DJ/producer Dim Mak Records, artist advocate at Spotify)

Daft Punk – “Too Long

What a misleading title. At exactly 10 minutes this track gives me enough time to drain the main vein, chat up a bird, and refill my cup. It builds so perfectly, and, if by the time I'm back anyone has left during the track, then good. We don't need you on the dance floor. Try a nice gastro pub, perhaps? Neoteric (whitelightmixes.com, maincourse.me)

New Order – “ The Perfect Kiss” One of my favorite pastimes is peeing mid-set. I always return feeling like Tiësto ready to conquer a football stadium. New Order’s "The Perfect Kiss" is a great, long fella at around nine minutes of good vibes. Them Jeans (Tall Tales Podcast / Los Angeles)

Mike Dunn – “Phreaky MF” I've had my fair share of "go-to" pee break tunes over the years but the one that springs to mind is Mike Dunn's “Phreaky MF.” It's over 12 minutes of sublime sleaze so I've even got time to run outside, hail a cab and hit the nearest Maccas drive-thru for a post pee cheeseburger (everyone eats cheeseburgers after peeing right?) Cassian (cassian.com.au, Sydney, Nervous Records, Bang Gang)

Leave a comment

ION Magazine 170-422 Richards Street Vancouver BC Canada V6B 2Z4
© Copyright ION Publishing Group 2013