Bad Religion Release Tired New Single About Trump or Something

Despite decades of honing their supposed art, Bad Religion can’t seem to escape the suffocating trap of a discography stained with insipid lyrics and the self-described “oozin’ aahs” that make up their boorish attempts at three-part vocal harmonies. Rather than push themselves creatively, Bad Religion always opt for an easy windfall by catering to the outlet mall punks of America’s suburban sprawl. After being burned by fickle fans in the wake of their 1983 prog opus Into the Unknown, Bad Religion learned the hard way that punk was just another conformist shitshow – with the stink to prove it. The ensuing cycle of cranking out formulaic drivel harvested from the latest batch of low-hanging lyrical fruit designed to smear each successive American president carries us all the way to 2018 and the release of “The Kids Are Alt-Right”, the first Bad Religion single in five years. Was it worth the wait? Well, for starters, that admittedly catchy title’s about the only thing even remotely amusing about the song, which sounds about as cutting and vital as an alien with zero edge or musical ability trying to ape punk a million years in the future. Featuring lazily-crafted references to guns, populism, and Nazi jackboots, “The Kids Are Alt-Right” hits all the requisite notes, but there’s nothing compelling about the message or its delivery – and certainly nothing to motivate the youth of today to get angry and engaged with the world around them. This isn’t your daddy’s punk rock, that’s for sure, when the likes of Crass, Dead Kennedys, and, well, Youth of Today dropped music that terrified parents and inspired a host of lanky, awkward teenagers to change the fucking system, man – because that system was fucked. Still is, judging from what I hear. At any rate, “The Kids Are Alt-Right” is a boring snooze of a track with an embarrassing colour by numbers/PowerPoint-style video that does the left and other progressives a huge disservice by assuming they need a studded leash to find the truth. In fact, if this is the best punk can muster in 2018 then it’s hard to begrudge anyone for taking a decided shift to the right. The kids might be alt-right but at least they’re not listening to this shit!  

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