Gregg Allman - I'm No Angel

When he wasn’t jamming with his brother Duane, Gregg Allman was quietly rocking a different circuit: the American court system. Married a staggering seven times in his 69 years on this planet (nice), Allman’s legal fees were the stuff of legend. But rather than mellow out and trade in his motorcycle for a minivan, Allman embraced his bad boy status as he approached middle age, dropping the surprise hit album I’m No Angel while on the cusp of turning 40. Released in 1987, the LP’s title track reads like a confession, with Allman admitting his guilt to a host of questionable behaviour and poor judgment, chief among them stealing diamonds from his love interest, although he does promise to bring her back some gold. Sure, pal. Even forgetting about Allman’s rampant pilfering for a moment, his line about wanting to “rock your cradle” should cause anyone to take notice and brush up on the proper procedures for making a citizen’s arrest. Let’s move on, though. The video for “I’m No Angel” features Allman drinking and womanizing his way across the Wild West until enough townspeople get tired of his bullshit and hang his sorry ass. I guess frontier justice can’t be wrong all the time. Yet despite feeling reminiscent of your drunken uncle’s third stag do, “I’m No Angel” still rips in a way younger, more virile songs dare not dream of. It’s no wonder “I’m No Angel” breathed new life into Allman’s stalling career in the late ‘80s.  And if you’re looking for a sexy number about an aging lothario pleading to show you his tattoo, well, what can I say? This Bud’s for you, my friend. The song’s a smooth banger that holds up to this day. Granted, it doesn’t exactly scream “aging gracefully” but what the hell does? Now go check on your uncle. He just took a dump on the lawn again.